Really Funny Jokes Pictures Wallpapers: July 2013

Tuesday 23 July 2013

Funny Joke Of The Day Really Funny Jokes Pictures Wallpapers

Funny Joke Of The Day Biography

Source(google.com.pk)
What is friendship without good-natured humor? You may have seen friends, who poke fun at each other, crossing all limits of decency. Does abrasive humor offend friends? Is there a shifting line of modesty between friends? How do you know when to pull the brakes when it comes to ribald humor?
To an outsider, a crude joke between friends may seem offensive. You may wonder how friends can allow such indiscretion. What about self-esteem and dignity, you ask. However, you need to look deep into the core of friendship.
When friendship is based on mutual trust, respect, and honesty, decorum and decency are merely superficial covers. True friends understand this at a subconscious level and don't feel threatened or insulted by their friends' humor. The bond of friendship has enough resilience to absorb such shocks -- some would argue that it grows stronger from it.
Interestingly, it has been observed that childhood friendships are often more resilient than friendships formed later on in life. Children bare secrets to their closest friends, making pacts of secrecy to be honored till death. Also, children share an honest and open relationship with friends. Even years after friends grow into adults, childhood friends feel secure in each other's company. So don't be surprised if you feel more at ease with your childhood friend, than you feel with your office colleagues.
Sharing funny quips with friends who have a similar sense of humor doubles the potency of a joke. The sight of your friend rolling with laughter, after you shared a funny joke, makes you feel immensely satisfied. And if your friend is blessed with ready wit, he or she can add to the humor.
Start Friendship Day with humor. Equip yourself with funny quotes, jokes, and anecdotes. Send out funny Friendship Day wishes and messages and spread the laughter. Give your friends a reason to smile with funny Friendship Day quotes. In the evening, catch up with a bunch of friends, and guffaw over a beer and barbecue. Hand out personalized Friendship Day gifts with Friendship Day quotes handwritten on them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
Lord Samuel
A friend in need is a friend to be avoided.
Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Erma Bombeck, Family: The Ties that Bind ... And Gag!
Friends are "annuals" that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a "perennial" that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them.
Oscar Wilde
A true friend stabs you in the front.
Jim Hayes
An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
Christian Slater
I just killed my best friend... and my worst enemy. What's the difference?
Malcom Bradbury
I've noticed your hostility towards him... I ought to have guessed you were friends.
Bronwyn Polson
Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!
Groucho Marx
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'
Groucho Marx
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
Jerry Seinfeld, in The Bizarro Jerry
Why would anybody want a friend?
Jerry Seinfeld
It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend.
Erma Bombeck
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Anne Lindbergh

Men kick friendship around like a football and it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces.

Funny Joke Of The Day Really Funny Jokes Pictures Wallpapers

Real Funny Jokes Really Funny Jokes Pictures Wallpapers

Real Funny Jokes Biography

Source(google.com.pk)
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...ï¿½
Robert Redford used to be such a handsome man and now look at him: everything has dropped, expanded and turned a funny colour.
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.
They say he's [Yogi Berra] funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?"
Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They dont know theyre being funny.
I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!
A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
A man who prides himself on his ancestry is like the potato plant, the best part of which is underground
The awkward moment when you realize your joke isn't as funny as you thought.
Funny in Michigan you can be a seasonal boyfriend and in the summer you can take off But in the winter you gotta be on lock.
The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it.
Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
I've risen from the dead. Though sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I've died. I swear I'm aging in dog years. But no, I'm not dead. It's funny how stuff like that gets started.
What people actually think: ha = you. suck. haha = not that funny. hahaha = really funny actually. hahahaha = funniest. thing. ever!! hahahahaha = I wanna be your friend/ gf/ bf. ahahahahaha = you. suck. a. lot.
Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL Me: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean? Me: Mom lol means laughing out loud! Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh God.
Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Real Funny Jokes Really Funny Jokes Pictures Wallpapers

Kids Funny Jokes Really Funny Jokes Pictures Wallpapers

Kids Funny Jokes Biography

Source(google.com.pk)
Here's a selection of what I think are some of the best Christmas quotes. I hope you like them too!
Obviously "best" is a matter of personal preference, but maybe you'll have similar taste to me. Personally, I like quotes that are funny or give you the warm fuzzies, but are not overbearingly sentimental.
What are your favourite Christmas quotes? If you have one that you think deserves to be a place in my list of the "World's Best Christmas Quotes", then let me know!
When I made this list, I had Christmas card writing in mind. So, most of the quotes are perfect as Christmas card quotes that you can write alongside your personal message in your Christmas cards.
Funny Christmas Quotes
I hope that these funny Christmas sayings and humorous Christmas quotes bring a smile to your face like they did to mine!
By the way, I've deliberately left out quotes that I found too cynical. There are some very funny Christmas card sayings out there that on second thoughts reveal a dim view of human nature. Funny as they might be, they didn't make it onto my best Christmas quotes list. You might call this the optimists-only list :-)
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
Do give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal."
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
My favourite cute Christmas quotes to make you feel warm inside :-) Mostly they're short enough to work well as Christmas card quotes.
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.
From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.
Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don't quite know how to put our love into words.
When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness."
May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace,The gladness of Christmas give you hope,The warmth of Christmas grant you love.
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect."
To the American People: Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. If we think on these things, there will be born in us a Savior and over us will shine a star sending its gleam of hope to the world."
~Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933), American president.
Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas."
May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!
Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.
Heap on the wood!-the wind is chill;
But let it whistle as it will,
We'll keep our Christmas merry still.
I love the Christmas-tide, and yet,
I notice this, each year I live;
I always like the gifts I get,
But how I love the gifts I give!
A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;It makes no noise at all,But softly gives itself away;While quite unselfish,
There are many kinds of quotes. If you need to funny quotes for Christmas. Then here we are providing you the best funny Christmas quotes and statuses that you can send to your dear once.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
You know you've grown up when none of the things you want for Christmas can be bought at a store.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.
I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.
No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness.
A brilliant seasonal selection of Funny Christmas quotes and Funny Christmas Sayings to give you some Holiday cheer this year! If you're searching for greetings for your Facebook page, for Christmas cards and seasonal scrapbooks, here's some great and funny jokes, quotes and sayings you can use for some Holiday fun.
If you know someone else who could do with some Christmas cheer then pass this Funny Christmas Quotations page along. I love to read funny web pages when I need cheering up.
Be sure to bookmark (CTRL and D) this Funny Christmas Quotes page because I do keep this updated on an ongoing basis. And if you have any great Xmas Quotes to share, please do in the Comments section near the end of the article.
"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered."
~ Supplied by Helene-Malmsio
"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included."
~ Bernard Manning
"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice." ~ Author Unknown
"Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas."
~ Kin Hubbard
"Do they still make wooden Christmas Trees?"
~ Charles Schulz
"The price of Christmas toys is outrageous -- a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters. I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride in. He played in the box it came in. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Next year he got a box. And I got a hundred dollars' worth of scotch."

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Funny Adult Jokes Biography

Funny Adult Jokes Really Funny Jokes Pictures Wallpapers

Saturday 20 July 2013

Really Funny Jokes That Are Short Really Funny Jokes Pictures Wallpapers

Really Funny Jokes That Are Short Biography

Source(google.com.pk)

Here's a selection of what I think are some of the best Christmas quotes. I hope you like them too!
Obviously "best" is a matter of personal preference, but maybe you'll have similar taste to me. Personally, I like quotes that are funny or give you the warm fuzzies, but are not overbearingly sentimental.
What are your favourite Christmas quotes? If you have one that you think deserves to be a place in my list of the "World's Best Christmas Quotes", then let me know!
When I made this list, I had Christmas card writing in mind. So, most of the quotes are perfect as Christmas card quotes that you can write alongside your personal message in your Christmas cards.
Funny Christmas Quotes
I hope that these funny Christmas sayings and humorous Christmas quotes bring a smile to your face like they did to mine!
By the way, I've deliberately left out quotes that I found too cynical. There are some very funny Christmas card sayings out there that on second thoughts reveal a dim view of human nature. Funny as they might be, they didn't make it onto my best Christmas quotes list. You might call this the optimists-only list :-)
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
Do give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal."
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
My favourite cute Christmas quotes to make you feel warm inside :-) Mostly they're short enough to work well as Christmas card quotes.
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.
From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.
Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don't quite know how to put our love into words.
When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness."
May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace,The gladness of Christmas give you hope,The warmth of Christmas grant you love.
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect."
To the American People: Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. If we think on these things, there will be born in us a Savior and over us will shine a star sending its gleam of hope to the world."
~Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933), American president.
Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas."
May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!
Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.
Heap on the wood!-the wind is chill;
But let it whistle as it will,
We'll keep our Christmas merry still.
I love the Christmas-tide, and yet,
I notice this, each year I live;
I always like the gifts I get,
But how I love the gifts I give!
A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;It makes no noise at all,But softly gives itself away;While quite unselfish,
There are many kinds of quotes. If you need to funny quotes for Christmas. Then here we are providing you the best funny Christmas quotes and statuses that you can send to your dear once.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
You know you've grown up when none of the things you want for Christmas can be bought at a store.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.
I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.
No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness.
A brilliant seasonal selection of Funny Christmas quotes and Funny Christmas Sayings to give you some Holiday cheer this year! If you're searching for greetings for your Facebook page, for Christmas cards and seasonal scrapbooks, here's some great and funny jokes, quotes and sayings you can use for some Holiday fun.
If you know someone else who could do with some Christmas cheer then pass this Funny Christmas Quotations page along. I love to read funny web pages when I need cheering up.
Be sure to bookmark (CTRL and D) this Funny Christmas Quotes page because I do keep this updated on an ongoing basis. And if you have any great Xmas Quotes to share, please do in the Comments section near the end of the article.
"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered."
~ Supplied by Helene-Malmsio
"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included."
~ Bernard Manning
"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice." ~ Author Unknown
"Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas."
~ Kin Hubbard
"Do they still make wooden Christmas Trees?"
~ Charles Schulz
"The price of Christmas toys is outrageous -- a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters. I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride in. He played in the box it came in. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Next year he got a box. And I got a hundred dollars' worth of scotch."

Really Funny Jokes That Are Short Really Funny Jokes Pictures Wallpapers